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Person

Anthony de Mello

(1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

 




Profession(s)

Author, Jesuit Priest

External Links

http://users.tpg.com.au/adsligol/tony/ 
http://www.demello.org/ 
http://www.elsajoy.com/spiritus.html 

Categories

Awareness; Personal Development; Spirituality; Religion

Location

India, Poona

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Image
Anthony de Mello courtesy of his brother Bill de Mello
Anthony de Mello was a Jesuit priest from India. He was the director of the Dadhana Institute of Pastoral Counselling in Poona, India, as well as a member of the Jesuit province of Bombay.

In the words of his friend, Francis Stroud, his work was about "waking people up to the reality of their greatness, proclaiming the message of 'awareness' - seeing the light we are to ourselves and to others, recognising we are better than we knew."

He challenged people to encounter the God behind all the words, concepts and religious formulas. Though he was a Jesuit, he even went so far as to point out the capacity of 'religion' to interfere with our relationship with God. This brought him considerable criticism from various quarters, including the Vatican.

His retreats, workshops, seminars on prayer and therapy courses and work which he was involved with globally for 18 years is widely known in many English and Spanish speaking countries.

He died suddenly in 1987, in New York, where he was giving one of his Sadhana Courses. His last recorded words were a prayer following Communion:
Don't change: Desire to change is the enemy of love.
Don't change yourselves: Love yourselves as you are.
Don't change others: Love all others as they are.
Don't change the world: It is in God's hands and he knows.
And if you do that change will occur
Marvellously in its own way and in its own time
Yield to the current of life unencumbered by baggage.
His brother Bill De Mello has written a wonderful biography of his life. It is beautifully produced - complete with a number of family photographs.



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Article
  In Conversation: Learn to Listen and to Tell the Truth by David Gurteen
A short article on conversation

Blog Post
  People are untrustworthy or is it just our bad judgement?
Posted to Gurteen Knowledge-Log by David Gurteen on 1 August 2012

Book
  Awareness (1990) by Anthony de Mello

  The Way to Love by Anthony de Mello
The Last Meditations of Anthony de Mello

Knowledge-Letter
  Gurteen Knowledge-Letter: Issue 22 - 2nd April 2002

Media File
  Video Playlist: Anthony de Mello
Video Playlist: Anthony de Mello

Person
  Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

Quotation
  All is well by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On awareness and control by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On being an eagle by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On being crazy by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On being helped by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On change and understanding by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On experiences by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On fear and love by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On getting out of kindergarden by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On how we see things by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On living aware lives by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On loneliness by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On love and dependency by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On mistaken assumptions by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On problems by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On spirituality by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On spirituality and waking up by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On the cause of unhappiness by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest

  On waking up by Anthony de Mello (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest



Quotations from Anthony de Mello:

 You know, all mystics - Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion - are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Though everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 What you are aware of you are in control of; what you are not aware of is in control of you.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 A man found an eagle's egg and put it in a nest of a barnyard hen. The eaglet hatched with the brood of chicks and grew up with them. All his life the eagle did what the barnyard chicks did, thinking he was a barnyard chicken. He scratched the earth for worms and insects. He clucked and cackled. And he would thrash his wings and fly a few feet into the air.

Years passed and the eagle grew very old. One day he saw a magnificent bird above him in the cloudless sky. It glided in graceful majesty among the powerful wind currents, with scarcely a beat on his strong golden wings. The old eagle looked up in awe. "Who's that?" he asked. "That's the eagle, the king of the birds," said his neighbour. "He belongs to the sky. We belong to the earth - we're chickens." So the eagle lived and died a chicken, for that's what he thought he was.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 We're crazy, We're living on crazy ideas about love, about relationships, about happiness, about joy, about everything.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 The only way that someone can be of help to you is by challenging your ideas.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 The only way to change is by changing your understanding.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Pleasant experiences make life delightful. Painful experiences lead to growth.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 What is love?"

"The total absence of fear," said the Master.

"What is it we fear?"

"Love," said the Master.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but don't believe them.

Don't believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys.

"Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success."

This is what they want; they want their toys replaced.

That's all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people don't really want to be cured.

What they want is relief; a cure is painful.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 We see people and things not as they are, but as we are.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Most people don't live aware lives. They live mechanical lives, mechanical thoughts -- generally somebody else's -- mechanical emotions, mechanical actions, mechanical reactions.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, But I do not cling.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 People mistakenly assume that their thinking is done by their head; it is actually done by the heart which first dictates the conclusion, then commands the head to provide the reasoning that will defend it.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Problems only exist in the human mind.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don't know it, are asleep. They're born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Spirituality means waking up. Most people, even though they don’t know it, are asleep. They’re born asleep, they live asleep, they marry in their sleep, they breed children in their sleep, they die in their sleep without ever waking up. They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing that we call human existence. You know ~ all mystics ~ Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion ~ are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well. Thought everything is a mess, all is well. Strange paradox, to be sure. But, tragically, most people never get to see that all is well because they are asleep. They are having a nightmare.

Last year on Spanish television I heard a story about this gentleman who knocks on his son’s door. "Jaime," he says, "wake up!" Jaime answers, "I don’t want to get up, Papa."

The father shouts, "Get up, you have to go to school." Jaime says, "I don’t want to go to school." "Why not?" asks the father. "Three reasons," says Jaime. First, because it’s so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school. And the father says, "Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster." Wake up! Wake up! You’ve grown up. You’re too big to be asleep. Wake up! Stop playing with your toys.

Most people tell you they want to get out of kindergarten, but don’t believe them. Don’t believe them! All they want you to do is to mend their broken toys. "Give me back my wife. Give me back my job. Give me back my money. Give me back my reputation, my success." This is what they want; they want their toys replaced. That’s all. Even the best psychologist will tell you that, that people don’t really want to be cured. What they want is relief; a cure is painful.

Waking up is unpleasant, you know. You are nice and comfortable in bed. It is irritating to be woken up. That’s the reason the wise guru will not attempt to wake people up. I hope I’m going to be wise here and make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you are asleep. It is really none of my business, even though I say to you at times, "Wake up!" My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance. If you profit from it fine; if you don’t, too bad! As the Arabs say, "The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



 Waking up is unpleasant, you know. You are nice and comfortable in bed. It's irritating to be woken up.

That's the reason the wise guru will not attempt to wake people up.

I hope I'm going to be wise here and make no attempt whatsoever to wake you up if you are asleep.

It is really none of my business, even though I say to you at times, "Wake up!" My business is to do my thing, to dance my dance.

If you profit from it, fine; if you don't, too bad! As the Arabs say, "The nature of rain is the same, but it makes thorns grow in the marshes and flowers in the gardens.

Anthony de Mello, (1931 - 1987) Jesuit Priest
Awareness



If you are interested in Knowledge Management, the Knowledge Café or the role of conversation in organizational life then you my be interested in this online book I am writing on Conversational Leadership
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